I was pleading as I said, “We haven’t been to India in many years. Our son Sega needs us now, when should we go there and help him?” He agreed it was time and told me we will plan for Summer 2022.
That day finally came and I was telling him how excited I was at all the new opportunities that God may have for us to minister besides just helping our son. Then he said something that changed everything. “I will be working remotely every night and most likely tired on the weekends, any ministry we do in India will be your doing. You are in charge of that. I will help in small ways, but you can seek God and lead in that area.”
He always knew his wife was a tad different, but his choice to put me in charge of this aspect of our lives was going to test him and my family in ways I wasn’t even prepared for.
Wait. When we think of persecution and judgment we don’t think of the word wait. But this simple word has been the chisel that has been transforming our faith as a family painstakingly slowly lately.
“Lord, direct our paths, we are at a crossroads, which way do we go?” I pleaded after 2 weeks of being in India.
Wait…. Watch the tree
“It’s been a month! Lord, so many people are looking at us; please don’t turn your face from me! They think I am mad!
“This is insanity, you can’t just wait forever!”
“Wait on what, exactly? Little voices?”
“We must make a plan, or we will run out of money.”
“How can you have children and yet have no idea what your doing?”
“God gives you choices, it’s okay to plan what’s next.”
“Mommy, what are we doing?”
“So, where are you moving to in India, are you buying or renting?”
“It’s been over a month, are you sure God is in this?
Wait…Watch the tree
Looking out the wide, open bedroom window during my daily devotion routine, I watch the trees and feel they are symbolic of something and feel an almost ethereal pull towards the hidden wisdom they contain as I meditate on God’s truths. And then one day..
The leaves rustle in the cool evening air; my mind intertwines with the wind as my thoughts dance with possibilities and hope of God promises.
“Yes, Lord. The tree is content. It waits on you, it does not stir its own leaves but waits for your loving caresses in the wind. It does not make itself a piece of furniture nor beg to grow taller. Its just grows. It never complains the birds eat its fruit, nor does it get irritated with the squirrels, ants and pruning. Instead, it houses and feeds and gives where it is planted. And as it waits to be used by You, it matures into a beautiful and fruitful tree. “
“Forgive me Lord, for the times in my life I demanded my own way. Forgive me the times I gave into pressure from the world when you did direct me and I was lured away by the wisdom of the world. And forgive for not waiting on You when you have called me to. I see my folly now. Thank you for the Tree.”
I would ask my dear husband for more time. And each time the Lord found us a way to remain where we are longer. My poor husband has surrendered and even though I’m not sure he really believes God will direct us, He has said that he wants me to see this through and allow me to do whatever it is that I feel called to. (As long as he has good internet for work.) I am blessed to have such a patient husband.
During this time of waiting, we have found a wonderful Church and have made brethren that are earnestly helping us. Ministry opportunities come here and there, but I am learning to be content in that, as we wait upon the Lord as He has directed me to.
Peace is now the trunk that holds up my branches as I wait upon the Lord.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14